I had a conversation with someone early this morning. At one point, I was asked if I thought the person we were talking about was happy.
Maybe it was the fact that I hadn’t yet had the full cup of coffee that allows me to dole out the necessary pleasantries throughout my morning, but I answered immediately and without thinking “Who really is?”
I said it so point blank and matter of fact that it’s been nagging at me all day long.
I started thinking “Am I really happy?” And my conclusion is: there’s no simple, clear cut answer to the question.
For one, “Are you happy?” Is such an all encompassing, general question.
Are any of us REALLY happy?
Sure, we may be happy with our children, our spouse, our friends, are jobs….but these are single, solitary things and not representative of the whole.
When was the last time you closed your eyes, took a deep breath, exhaled, and felt complete happiness?
I know I couldn’t remember. There is always some stressor or something going on in my mind that I am not able to turn off.
Maybe we’re not happy because we don’t take a moment to slow down and appreciate what we have as a whole.
We are ALWAYS constantly pushing for more. Whether it’s a better job, better home, more money, a better car, etc. And I think we are ALL at least a little bit guilty of thinking that the grass is always greener. When we get those things, life isn’t necessary better and we aren’t necessarily happier.
What is that BMW going to do to make me happier as a person?
Is that other person going to make me any happier in the end than the one I’m with at the moment?
Would extra money really make me happier? How would it really change my life for the better?
Maybe I am looking at happiness as having to be a “what”. A thing, a person, anything outside of myself.
I guess my truth in all of this thought today, at the end of the day, is that happiness is an internal thing. You have to find it within yourself and stop looking for things outside of yourself to try and fill the void.
And the truth is, I like who I am.
I am sometimes wild and do some crazy things but I try to be rational. I live by my own rules. I find freedom in taking on new adventures and challenges. I care about everyone more than I should. When you get to know me, I wear my emotions and, even if they come out a jumbled mess, those people who know me know how much I love each of them.
I like all these attributes of me so therefore, I must be happy.
I needed to get stuck on this today. The truth is, I was starting to lose sight of enjoying whatever I have in the moment.
And, in this moment, I wouldn’t change a thing. I am exactly where I should be right now and things are exactly as they should be.
I am happy.
I wouldn’t change a thing in this moment.
Who knows what the future holds a month from now, 6 months from now, or a year from now and, to a degree, who cares? I can’t predict what’s to come. I know first hand the grass isn’t always greener. I also know that if I can’t be happy in the moment and enjoy it, it will pass me by, the way everything seems to in the blink of an eye if you don’t take a minute to take a breath and appreciate it.